Currently, the focus of my time (aside from my children and my writing) has been my mother and her health. Due to encephalitis, she lost all of her memories and has been learning how to talk, write, and walk all over again. It’s been very surreal to say the least.
A little over a week ago, she fell down and broke her hip. She’s had Osteoarthritis for many years, so it doesn’t take much to take her out. She has the mental capacity of a six year old right now, so it was very scary for her to get surgery and go through that kind of pain. She did really well and came out of her surgery successfully.
Now it gets complicated… She needed physical therapy after her surgery, so she was transferred to a rehabilitation clinic. They unfortunately did not give her adequate insulin, and her sugars got over 400 (dangerously high). With diabetes, if your sugar gets very high or low, you can become extremely disoriented. She ended up falling again and being sent to the hospital. No breaks, but with her blood sugar so high, she got very sick. She ended up in ICU on life support, unable to wake up, but only had to stay there for a couple of days. Now she’s awake and being treated with antibiotics.
We’re not done yet… The antibiotics killed all the bacteria in her body, good and bad. So now she’s in isolation at the hospital, to keep her protected until they can get her body regulated. It’s been a crazy ride… Let me break it down:
-Christmas- Mom is missing, but due to estrangement, I will have no idea until the end of January.
-Detective Work- My brother informs me that our mother is missing, and I have to dig around and call her family (who I’ve been estranged from as well) to find out she’s been in a coma and just woke up a couple of weeks ago. She is living with her Meth addicted boyfriend and doesn’t remember anything.
-Curiouser and Curioser- The memory loss was not complete, and she remembers a few things. She remembers her children, and vaguely recalled my brother living near a freeway. She was being abused and mistreated in her home and tried to run away. She wheeled herself around Phoenix until she recognized the area and found my brother’s house. She stayed there for a week until her abusive drugee boyfriend came back for her.
-Surprise!- At this point, I’m just lost and have no idea what to do. One night, my phone rings and it is my grandparent’s (mother’s parents) number. My first thought is that my mom has died. The person on the other end was my mother! She speaks very child like and doesn’t know much. I grapple with my conscious for a bit, before deciding to let her back into my life. If she doesn’t remember all of the terrible things that happened, than it’s no longer fair to hold her responsible for my past.
-Trying and Healing- Talking to my mom with a clean slate felt very good. She cried when she found out the things that happened. She doesn’t remember my Dad at all, and for that, I am envious. She apologized for the first time. She actually didn’t turn herself into the victim and said she was sorry for the things that happened in my child hood. I went to visit her and brought her some cheap gifts that made her smile. Things were going pretty well, until she fell down.
-Fall, Hospital, and Worry- After she fell, my week went like this.
“your mom broke her hip and had surgery”
Calls from mom, all is well, she is transferred to rehabilitation.
“your mom is in ICU on life support. ”
Call from mom to explain everything after she wakes up again.
I’m not entirely sure how I’m maintaining sanity, or if I truly am, but here we are! Neither of my siblings are helping, talking, or trying. They’re both too busy with their own lives to bother with it. My heart hurts and I just want a break from all of this nonsense. My mother is happy, and just complains about being bored, so I’m not concerned about her well being. I’m just worried that she will die soon, and I will be filled with regret at not having done enough. I will be, no I am, very upset with my brother and sister. The least they could do is give a shit.
I’ll update when I can, but I’ve been absorbed in my book lately, and that gets published nowhere until it’s done! Stay tuned, and thank you for reading.
P. S. Prayers and well wishes are very welcomed for my family in this trying time.
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